I hear it all the time: “So, when are you having another?” It’s such a natural question, one that so many moms get asked. And I get why—having more than one child is the norm for a lot of families. But for me, the answer is clear: I feel completely fulfilled with one. I am done. And that clarity is something I’m deeply grateful for.
But I know that’s not how every mom feels. Some women wrestle with the decision, feeling torn between wanting to give their child a sibling and wondering if they can handle more. Others feel outside pressure, as if having only one isn’t enough. If that’s you, I just want to say: Whatever choice you make, it’s valid. And it’s okay if your answer doesn’t look like anyone else’s.
For me, the decision came naturally. My pregnancy and birth experience were so positive, and when I look at my son, I feel this deep sense that he was always meant to be mine. He is the perfect match for me, and I don’t feel any pull for another. Not even a little. That knowing gives me peace.
I also know myself. I get overwhelmed easily, and my energy is limited. I want to give my son my fullest attention, my deepest love, and my best self. Growing up as one of five, I often felt like my parents’ time and attention had to be shared between so many of us. Not in a way that I blame them for—it was just the reality of a big family. But I know I don’t want that for myself or for my child. Even now, I see how my focus has shifted—my dog, Anan, who once had so much of my attention, already gets less of me than before. With another child, it would be the same, and I don’t want to spread myself so thin that I don’t have enough to give.
If you’re struggling with this decision, here are a few things that helped me feel so sure:
1. Tuning out the noise – I stopped thinking about what others expected and focused on what felt right for me.
2. Imagining both paths – When I pictured my future, the idea of one child felt complete. More didn’t feel like a missing piece, just extra—and I didn’t want extra.
3. Knowing my limits – Motherhood is beautiful, but also demanding. I know my energy, my needs, and how much I can give before I start losing myself.
If you’re feeling pressure to have another but aren’t sure if it’s what you truly want, I hope you give yourself permission to trust your own path. Whether you have one child, three, or none at all—your choice is yours to make. And when you find clarity, there’s so much peace in it.
I’d love to hear from other moms—how did you know when your family was complete? Or are you still figuring it out?